Of late, I have been thinking about my relationship with
money..
Twenty years back, when I started
married life I did not have much savings. I was only 22-23 years old, had
worked hardly for 2 years and money did not really figure high on my priority
list then. As a child, I had been fortunate enough to have been born in a
middle class family where both parents worked. As a result, money was never an
issue. It also helped that my needs were few – I was not very interested in
clothes, shoes, watches and truly believed in ‘Simple living and High thinking’.
Looking back, I think I was totally oblivious to the power of money then.
Married early (as per today’s
standards); I gradually realized the need and importance of money. In the
initial years of our marriage; we lived with my husband’s parents in a small
house. So buying a bigger house of our own was our first priority. That is when I started to realize the
importance of money. The builder would send an instalment demand letter nearly
every alternate month. As a young couple, our savings were meagre and money to
pay for the house was always an issue. The fact that I stayed pregnant also
added to our challenges. There were times towards the end of the month when we
hardly had enough money only to cover our travel to and fro to office. I did
not even keep a maid so that I could save some money. That period helped me
realize the importance of money. We were young and hopeful and I must say in my
mind, somehow I felt that money would come (though I didn’t know from where).
And so finally we had a house-
but no money to buy much for the house. Slowly over a period, we bought the
necessities and settled. Within two
years though, my husband decided to take up a job in South East Asia. Before
leaving, he invested in a second house. I and my son accompanied him. I gave up
my job and stayed at home for the next 18 months. The first six months went
well. We were very aware that the savings from this job would need to go in
financing the second house and so we spent cautiously. I learnt to manage the
house in a small budget and put away the rest of the money towards paying for
the house. I learnt to rationalize what was a necessity and what was luxury. However,
six months down the line, economic crisis in South East Asia deepened. The
Money that was in the bank there in local currency devalued substantially and
our savings were reduced to nearly one-tenth of the original value. We were at
a fix on how to manage paying to the Builder. We borrowed from parents and
relatives. As things worsened, we decided that I should come back to India and
look for a job while he stayed put there in the hope of the economy improving
and see if we could recover the money.
I came back in 1998; and 3-4
months later got a job with an IT company.
Once I started working, I applied for a home loan and slowly paid off
the money we owed to our relatives. In this period, I watched my father in law
closely and how he managed the house very well with limited money. Two years
later my husband also came back and joined a consulting company. It’s been more
than a decade now and our financial struggles are a subject of the past.
Having seen days with no money-
we invested wisely over the years. But when I think about my present and my
past- I see a lot of differences.
The days with no money were some of the best
days in my life. They taught me invaluable lessons.
- · When we bought our own little first house or even the second house; there was an immense sense of achievement. Even during the entire journey of buying the house and sacrificing our current needs for future ones- there was a sense of anticipation and of building something of our own together. In later years, when we earned money adequately- I have not been able to sense that achievement and pride.
- · When money was in short supply, I tried to compensate by putting more efforts. Example, doing all the work by myself without any domestic help, teaching the kid by myself, putting all that we bought to good use. That gave a certain sense of satisfaction of looking well after the family. In recent years, the fact that I don’t always make the best use of resources and am not able to give adequate time for the family weighs down on me.
- · I am fortunate that Money is no more the prime consideration for working. It is no more the key motivator. And yet, sometimes career and work considerations take over my entire life. I sometimes feel emotionally drained and physically tired. Of late, I wonder if I had adequate money invested- would I still continue working. And then how much is really enough? I am no more in the prime of youth with high optimism and confidence that things will work out and that I am physically fit to turn around things always to my advantage. I realize even more than ever that I need to put away enough money so that I can secure my retirement and do the things that I always wanted to do. And yet, I wonder whether physically by the time I retire I will have the energy to do all that I have wanted to do.
- · There are times when I think, in my earlier years money was important so that we could buy the most important things to live our present lives. Now money is important more for providing for the future (the children’s education, retirement). And yet there are times; I am worried that the future is taking over our present.
So, eventually, I have reached a
conclusion that ‘Money is what money does...’
On this day of Laxmipujan; I pray
to God to give me the capability and opportunity to earn and the wisdom to
spend it wisely.
