Managing difficult people.

I have had my share of managing difficult people in life...

Infact over the years I have often wondered whether I attracted the eccentric types :)  Some stay in my life for a long time and some are around for a short duration. They teach me valuable lessons in patience and acceptance.

One of the most difficult person I met in my life was an elderly female relative. She had an acidic manner, was generally suspicious, did not trust anybody and tried to boss over everyone. In the earlier days of our relation, I could not fathom her and could not find anything good about her. But as days passed, I realized that she was this way because she was unhappy with herself. She had lost her son at an young age and believed that she was the reason for his death. I realized that she was unhappy because she had not forgiven herself as yet for his death. Over the years I was able to accept her the way she was because I could see through her pain.

Long back I also met a manager who was very insecure about me. As a result, he made sure that I was never given any visibility or important opportunities. I waited a long time to go up the right way. And while I waited, I realized that personally he did not wish me bad - actually cared for me in a way but wanted to protect his own position. It took a lot of faith and courage in myself to stick to the job and come up the hard but right way. Today looking back I feel it helped me find my own strength. 

I have a team member who is very valuable in terms of the outcomes he provides. His commitment and knowledge is valuable - but what brings him down is his inability to get along with people and take offence at the slightest  of emails. So many have complained about him and I have personally mentored and counselled him on many occasions. Because of this trait, it becomes difficult to bring him up inspite of his numerous other strengths. I have the difficult task of harnessing his energy positively and I have learned the importance of always trying to bring out the best in people.

There have been some people who taught me to trust a little lesser and be a little more skeptical and for a long time I resented them.

But now when I look back, I realize each one came into my life for a purpose - to teach me something special. Now, instead of resenting them, I feel if I can accept them the way they are - perhaps it will help them accept themselves better !!