The accident and the aftermath...

Two weeks back when travelling to the Pune office, I met with an car accident.

I had started early in the morning at five so as to reach on time for presentation to a client at 9.30am at the Pune office. One moment, I remember dozing off and it seemed that the next moment I opened my eyes and looked at my hands- there was tissue and blood on my hands and the driver had opened the door and was pleading with me to open my eyes. For a moment, I remember wondering whether all this was real or was I seeing a dream. But it was real.. I felt a sense of pain.

By then the driver had stopped the car behind and the people in the car behind were pleading with me to get up and sit in their car. With great difficulty I got up and went and sat in the car behind. I asked the driver to take my laptop bag, my purse and cell. I lay down on the seat behind and asked them to keep something below my head. The driver called up the office and the admin guy insisted on speaking to me. So I spoke to him and asked him to message that I wouldn't be able to reach for the presentation.

The driver knew Pavana hospital and I was immediately taken over there. Since there seemed to be a big gash on the head, I was immediately taken in for a CT Scan. Internal injury was ruled out and the attending Doctors decided to put stitches. I was given 5-6 anesthetic injections on the forehead and was given 15 stitches. By then somebody from Office had reached and I was moved to Aditya Birla Memorial Hospital - because it was an head injury and the hospital had very good medical facilities.

I called up my husband ; by then he already had come to know and was on the way to Pune. I told him I was now safe and that he must not drive fast. In the new hospital, again all tests were conducted and internal damage was ruled out. Colleagues from Pune office who came to know quickly rushed and there were calls from my Mumbai team to inquire. My mother and brother called up from Bangalore and were relieved to hear my voice.

Finally, I had to stay for 8 days in the hospital. I had to go through a surgery by a cosmetic surgeon for 2-3 hrs to reduce the impact of the wound. For the first week, I had a spinning sensation everytime I tried to sit. My brother flew down immediately from Bangalore to be with me for the first two three days and then my mother in law insisted on coming and looking after me. My husband went back to be with the kids. I am back home now, able to stand on my feet - though there are few moments of the spinning sensation. The scar has healed well and the cosmetic surgery really helped to reduce the impact.

Some of what I realized during these two weeks :
(1) For a month before the accident, I had been continuously feeling a sense of fatigue and wanting to slow down and rest. I wondered in my mind on why I always wanted to do everything perfectly - on time with great quality on both professional and personal front. I was realizing that it was impacting my health. I badly needed rest.But I kept putting off an holiday thinking I would utilize my leave later in more pressing situations. Was the universe listening to my thoughts and conspired to make it happen? I needed to detach and see things from a different angle and this accident helped me to do that.

(2) I realize that though the accident was major, there were many positives - the driver was not hurt and so could fetch help, the car behind stopped on time and knew that Pavana hospital was nearby, they were willing to carry me there. Medical help was provided promptly. While the gash on the head was severe, luckily there were no internal injuries and the brain, eyes, teeth, spine were safe. Though one has to face difficult situations, God was there to protect me and ensure that the impact was minimized. Since the accident  happened just 10 days before Ganesh Chaturthi I was worried on how we would be able to manage. Just three days before Ganesh Chaturthi I was able to stand and walk only with help. But, by the time Ganesh Chaturthi came, I was up on my feet and able to do everything exactly like years before. God made sure  of that !!

(3) Family, friends, colleagues and relatives all really came through. They came to see me, sent messages and cared. My brother for the first 2-3 days did not leave my side. My mother prayed continuously for hours till I was out of danger. My mother-in-law insisted on being with me - she told me once how important it was that I was there for my children - till they grew up and had their own families to love and protect them. I realized how important I was for my husband and children.

I was married young at twenty-two and my husband  then was twenty-six. We have nearly grown a lifetime in the last twenty-one years of marriage. We may have had our moments of trouble, but, somehow, I felt the marriage had become rock solid -that we both knew we needed each other. That without the partnership -our life would perhaps not be the same...

The language of silence

It took me a long time to realize that silence has a language of its own- that sometimes silence can convey much more than words.

Five years back, we decided to send our thirteen year old son to a residential school for his ninth and tenth grade. A difficult decision but was needed in his interest or so we thought.

The school was around two and half hours drive from Mumbai. I looked forward to talking to him on the phone every weekend - but quickly realized that the phone masks many a emotions. And, so I waited for him to come home for  a short stay. Two and half months into the school year, and the school authorities decided to send the children back for a short break of four days. We were conveyed the location and timing for the pickup. I went to pick him up at the and waited for a long time for the bus to arrive. While I waited for the bus to arrive, I reflected over our decision to send him away. Finally, the bus arrived and my son got out looking taller and leaner. My heart was filled with a lot of different emotions - hard to describe.

On the way back home, I asked a lot of questions- how was the school, the food how were the friends and the the facilities? He said school was good and he had made good friends, but he didn't seem to be in a mood to talk much.

Back home, I had cooked some of his favorite snacks. He put on the TV and ate the snacks with great relish. I sat on the floor opposite to  him with a cup of tea. As I sipped tea, I wondered whether the distance had made him grow up, whether he was sad, angry or just uninterested now that he had a new life.  I had realized also, that as boys grow up they don't like to express their feelings, nor appreciate others making too much of a fuss. And so I kept quiet.

Imagine my surprise when after he finished eating, he came down sat next to me and put his head on my lap and watched TV. Both of us didn't say a word to each other, but the silence spoke volumes. Perhaps, both of us wanted a reassurance that we were still there for each other. As I passed my fingers through his hair, I reflected upon his silent gesture and realized that it  spoke of a love and belonging that would never cease with distance and time.

For me, it was a moment of truth.

There is no education like adversity

There is no education like adversity - Benjamin Disraeli

Recently, I learnt the role of adversity in bringing up children.

I have a young lady-Suchi in my team whom I find remarkable in many ways. I find that at a young age, she has the ability to review a situation, size up the challenges, make decisions  and move ahead. She is very well organized and plans her tasks well. Apart from this, she is very balanced, collaborates well with others and has the ability to make non-issues out of issues. Needless to add, she has quickly become a valuable team member.

Three months back, Suchi lost her father quite suddenly.

Obviously,  it was a big blow to her. After she resumed back at work,  over our early morning 'chai', she often recounted memories of her father and her growing years. While it helped her healing process, for me - they were big lessons in parenting.

Her father had suffered a major accident when her tenth standard year had just started. He was in hospital for a few months. He recovered from the accident but had to leave his job.  Since her mother was not working, this naturally put a strain on the family's finances. Suchi had a younger brother and this adversity suddenly made her a responsible elder in the family.

She often recounts how she learnt to organize finances, manage banking transactions and take overall responsibility in the house. Over the next couple of years, the family learnt to manage with limited resources. All major decisions in the family were taken keeping the children's education at the highest priority.

After completing her engineering degree and starting to work, the financial situation improved. This event had made Suchi realize the need for financial security and she systematically invested in gold, bought a house in a far off suburb and saved for her marriage expenses. She proudly told me once how she did all the property transactions on her own. Later she married a colleague in her first job, had a daughter, bought another house with her husband. Her parents and brother (who in the meantime, also completed engineering and started working) sold off their old house and took a flat in her building to help her with bringing up her young daughter.

Suchi always had tremendous support of her parents - throughout her difficult pregnancy, her child's growing years, whenever she needed to travel for office work. Her parents have always been there for her and her husband. She often told me how much pride her father took in his daughter's achievements and how much both the grandparents enjoyed bringing up the granddaughter.

Suchi's story to me has valuable lessons in parenting for all of:

(1) While all of us want the best for our children and try to clear all the hurdles in their path; here was an example of how adversity had helped shape Suchi's personality. It gave her lessons in planning, foresight and focus that no B.school could teach. 

(2) Suchi's parents may not have been able to provide financially very well for the children but they made sure that all their efforts and money was prioritized towards the children's upbringing. This made sure that the children were even more focused towards education and career. The children knew that they needed to succeed and bring happiness to their parents. Her parents compensated for the lack of finances with a lot of love, attention, support and confidence in their children's abilities. 


Compare this to the situation around us today. We see many rich and well-to-do families send their children to the best of schools and colleges with the power of money, provide children with branded goods and provide for costly tuition's. They compensate for their lack of attention with all that money can buy. We also often hear and read about children from well to do families who go astray, loose ambition and even while away their life. 

(3) Suchi once told me that after this particular incident, she has not been fazed by any other problem in life. Every other problem seemed trivial as compared to what she went through. I think she also learnt valuable lessons in how families need to stay together in the face of adversity, prioritize on the most important things of life and help each other succeed. 

As for her parents, what better rewards in the autumn of their life- than to see their children turn into fine and capable young people who will pass on these values to the next generation.

To the Women in my life

Today on Woman's day, I want to pay a tribute to the many women who have made a deep impression on me.

Ofcourse, the list has to start with my mother. She started working immediately after matriculation at 17 with a Government office  to support her family of three sisters and one brother. Married at the young age of 20, and a young mother at 21. I was her firstborn and my sister came five years later and the youngest son another two years later. What was remarkable, was that my father encouraged my mother to continue education after marriage and even while working and with three children, she managed to complete her postgraduate studies. Some of my early childhood memories are of my mom locking herself in a room to study because the three of us tried to trouble her. While she completed her post graduation, she never tried to climb the career ladder till I got married and the other two were well in college. I think she sacrificed on this front to ensure that she did not neglect her family responsibilities. My father passed away fifteen years back and while I was married, the younger two were still to settle down. Looking back, I realize how important her support was to all of us through our life struggles. Often, I reach out to her on phone to talk about the turmoil in my mind and feel much better after talking to her. Many a times, I have realized many of her friends and relatives do the same with her.

Another woman in my life, from whom I learnt much is perhaps my mother-in -law. The key lesson I learnt from her was how to economize on the household front; how to run the house with a limited budget and yet ensuring everybody's needs were very well met. I got first hand lessons on financial planning from her which will stay with me for a lifetime.

There were many women who impressed me over the years- My maid of fourteen years who looked after my kids and who worked herself a lot with the dream of making her son an educated man, an elderly professor who did her Phd along a corporate job and then got into teaching (my inspiration to do the PhD), my sister who has managed to use her creativity to run a successful business from home, a neighboring woman who spent an entire year trying to nurse her sick husband back to health, a very successful estate agent with whom I interacted and realized that behind her successful professional face was a  mother trying to cope up with a young son with Attention Deficit Syndrome(ADS). I often meet women trying to cope with difficult in-laws, difficult husbands, trying to balance home and work, striving to be financially independent, striving to give time to their children, trying to give support to loved ones, trying to nurture their talents and dreams, trying to grow wings, competing against men and outwitting them and all the time striving to find the balance between all the different worlds before them.

I also learn all the while from the young one at home growing into a young lady with her own heart and mind. I realize, she too will one day face the real world  and perhaps realize that the world is not as rosy as her idealistic mind would want it to be. But, I also know that she will find the courage and the will to face the world on her own terms.

Happy Women's Day !!!

Managing difficult people.

I have had my share of managing difficult people in life...

Infact over the years I have often wondered whether I attracted the eccentric types :)  Some stay in my life for a long time and some are around for a short duration. They teach me valuable lessons in patience and acceptance.

One of the most difficult person I met in my life was an elderly female relative. She had an acidic manner, was generally suspicious, did not trust anybody and tried to boss over everyone. In the earlier days of our relation, I could not fathom her and could not find anything good about her. But as days passed, I realized that she was this way because she was unhappy with herself. She had lost her son at an young age and believed that she was the reason for his death. I realized that she was unhappy because she had not forgiven herself as yet for his death. Over the years I was able to accept her the way she was because I could see through her pain.

Long back I also met a manager who was very insecure about me. As a result, he made sure that I was never given any visibility or important opportunities. I waited a long time to go up the right way. And while I waited, I realized that personally he did not wish me bad - actually cared for me in a way but wanted to protect his own position. It took a lot of faith and courage in myself to stick to the job and come up the hard but right way. Today looking back I feel it helped me find my own strength. 

I have a team member who is very valuable in terms of the outcomes he provides. His commitment and knowledge is valuable - but what brings him down is his inability to get along with people and take offence at the slightest  of emails. So many have complained about him and I have personally mentored and counselled him on many occasions. Because of this trait, it becomes difficult to bring him up inspite of his numerous other strengths. I have the difficult task of harnessing his energy positively and I have learned the importance of always trying to bring out the best in people.

There have been some people who taught me to trust a little lesser and be a little more skeptical and for a long time I resented them.

But now when I look back, I realize each one came into my life for a purpose - to teach me something special. Now, instead of resenting them, I feel if I can accept them the way they are - perhaps it will help them accept themselves better !!

Fate or Free Will

There are times in our lives when we question our personal beliefs and philosophy. One such time occurred in my life 8-9 years ago.

My son was born when I was 24 yrs. For a long time we totally believed that we did not want any more children. But when he turned 8-9 years old, my mind started changing. I felt the need to have a second child. I yearned for a baby who would once again energize the house. I also felt that if I had a second child then long after we were gone there would be somebody for my son of his own.

I decided to take a second chance and conceived when the elder was nearing 10 years.  Before we realized that I was carrying, my husband had taken up an assignment which required him to be situated in a foreign country and throughout my pregnancy he was not at home- came back once in four months. But I was fully confident that I could manage everything on my own.

I worked throughout the term, travelled every day using office transport for an hour and a half one way, switched my role in office and did one of the most interesting projects of my life during this period. I also managed to sell off our old house and completed all the formalities on my own. I periodically visited the gynaec and did regular tests that were advised. Overall, I was very confident that I would have a healthy baby, my delivery would go off very smoothly and I could manage everything on my own.

The baby was expected to be born in the third week of January and my husband had planned a 8 weeks holiday during that time. However, in the second week of November, I started to feel very tired. One morning I got ready to go to office, but felt too weak to step out. My son had already left for school and I decided to lie down for some time. After an hour or so, I felt a little better and decided to go visit the gynaec. The gynaecs clinic was just a 8-10 minutes walk but I realized I was feeling too tired to walk that short distance. The Doctor checked me and was alarmed that I was already having contractions. She asked me to get admitted. I was taken aback. I told her I had an important project and this week was important and I needed to be at work. She asked me where my office was and was shocked to hear that I had been travelling so far in the final trimester. She gave me medicines and said I could go home but would need to monitor and call her at night to report on status. I went back home, took the medicines, worked from home but by night the contractions had not subsided.  Next day morning, I again went to meet her. This time she insisted I must get admitted and I told her I would go home collect my bag and come back. I walked back home but had to stand and rest multiple times.

Back home, I sent a message to my team and manager, cooked a quick lunch for my son, lit the deeya before God and packed a bag to carry to the clinic. I then went to the neighbour and told her that I needed to get admitted and kept a message for my son and the domestic help who came in the afternoon to look after him. My neighbour wanted to come with me but I said I could manage on my own and that she needed to be home to give my message. I went down withdrew money from the ATM and walked to the clinic and admitted myself. Once I admitted myself, I called up my mother and told her my situation. My mother was still working then and was six months away from retirement. I assured her there was nothing to worry at all and she should start at her regular time and come to the clinic.

The doctor immediately put me on IV which had medicines to prevent a premature delivery. For the next 3-4 days, I was on these medicines. The Doctor wanted me to able to cross the minimum term for pregnancy. On the fourth day, they discovered that the baby was missing an heart beat and I was immediately advised a sonography. The sonography revealed that the umbilical chord had gone around the baby’s neck. Now the Doctor was concerned – She felt it was a risk with the umbilical chord around the baby’s neck and the contractions. She advised that we do a caesarean section early in the morning.  During these four days; when my husband called we had told him that I was being kept under observation and there was nothing serious.

I decided there was no need to alarm him in a foreign country by giving him the news of apremature delivery. I told my mother that I was very confident everything would work out fine and that after the baby was born she should call him and give the good news. Early morning, the operation started and I was administered an anaesthesia. When I came into consciousness, the Doctor gave me the good news that it was a girl (something I had secretly hoped for longJ ).

When I was wheeled back into my room, they bought the tiny bundle and kept her next to me. She looked very much like the elder one only much smaller than him. My Mother called up my husband and informed him of the good news. He was overwhelmed with joy.

However, half an hour later she still seemed to have some difficulty in breathing and the Gynaec and Pediatrician came in once again. They advised to admit her to a neo-natal ICU.  Next four days she was in the ICU of which the first two days she was given ventilator support.  I was in the maternity home. My mother would be with her in the morning and would come to sleep with me at night in the maternity home. Every night my mother sat meditating and praying for the little one. But I always assured her that the little one would be perfectly fine.

After four days I felt much stronger and insisted on going to see her. When I reached the neo-natal clinic and went to see her there were 3-4 babies. She was lying there with only a diaper and had an IV. She looked  tiny and vulnerable and my heart reached out to her. I was allowed to feed her and for the first time in two weeks I wondered whether I was being too optimistic about her.

I waited with my mother to see the Pediatrican on duty while my mother sensing my emotions tried to put on a brave front. She told me stories of friends and relatives who had premature babies and today how they all were perfectly healthy individuals. When we went to the Doctor, he advised to keep her in the NICU and to check myself also in the clinic so that they could observe if she was responding well before we could take her home. Just before we left; he also told me there was a small cleft above her buttocks close to the spinal chord and  after two-three months we should do an MRI and check if the cleft was just on the surface or it was deeper. Sometimes, there could be chances of a spina Bifida . I probed into what that would mean. He said in some extreme conditions, this may mean that the child is not able to sit or stand.

That was the last straw. I felt my world collapsing around me. All my courage vanished.

Till this time I really believed that she was going to be fine. I had taken a chance after ten years. If the child had any such problems I would never forgive myself. Over the next week, we bought her home and  I was sure with our  care she would put on weight; But in my post pregnancy state of mind, my worry regarding that cleft grew multi-fold. I searched and read everything about spina-bifida on the internet and worried endless nights about it. I told my husband to come in January as planned earlier – the baby was fine though tiny. I thought if he came now and saw the tiny one; he would go back a worried man. And so I agonized alone about her condition- by now her low weight was secondary –my primary worry was the depth of the cleft.

In these two months, I questioned my philosophy. Till then I really believed that we created our own destiny. I believed that if you wanted anything in life, as long as you put your heart and soul in it you could make it happen. For the first time in my life, I felt that it was not true – that there is some kind of destiny and if so did it really make any sense to have my own goals and put my heart into it? I struggled in my mind with these questions.

Over the next two months, however, my daughter put on weight and by the time she was four five months, she was a really cute healthy child. As soon as possible, I got the cleft checked and it was revealed that it was only skin deep. Today my daughter is eight years old – healthy and happy. This incident is now only a distant memory.

Over the years my thoughts on this subject have evolved and matured. In the initial years, I felt I created my own destiny, this incident made me take a fatalistic view. But over the years I have realized that such incidents happen so that you learn. It is important to articulate your life goals and work towards it with single minded focus and devotion. It is also important to maintain a optimistic and positive outlook towards life. But it is also important to keep the ego( the 'Me') in check and to realize that there is a power higher than yourself.  When things don’t happen the way you want them to happen, it is because there is learning for you. You have to learn to find that learning in the situation, accept it and move on.

“Mann ka ho toh acha ; aur mann ka naah ho toh aur bhi acha”

Beauty...

Last week, I was watching a repeat of a Miss Universe program. The beautiful contestants gathered from across the world had chiseled bodies and perfect faces. Across many rounds, they showed their beauty, charm, talent and intelligence. But for some reason their beauty did not reach out to me.

I realized over the years my definition of beauty had changed. I tried to look back at who in the recent past I had found beautiful.

An old Professor I met some years back.  She reflected strength, peace, knowledge. There was a certain serenity on her face which comes from years of experience and having weathered multiple personal and professional storms. Most importantly, even at this age she had a childlike desire and enthusiasm to do new things. She left me inspired.

Recently, I also encountered beauty when I had taken my daughter to the doctors clinic. She was probably a second time mommy in her mid thirties- heavily pregnant– sitting there with her husband and daughter. Though not conventionally beautiful, her face glowed with a certain contentment which comes when you have a family to love and a companion to grow old with.

My aunt would often worry about marrying off her daughter who was rather plain looking. Many proposals later, she finally found a suitable husband for her daughter and married her off. I was unable to attend her wedding – but met the young couple a few months later at another wedding. The young woman had actually transformed and looked quite attractive. I couldn’t help noticing the young couple were in a world of their own throughout the wedding. Was it love that had transformed the plain looking young girl into an attractive and confident young lady?

My definition of beauty had certainly undergone a lot of change. Beauty is what comes from within and touches your heart...

Nirvana

My usual day is full of action, emotion and drama....

Typically, my day starts at 6 in the morning when the cook rings the bell. I wake up cursing my self for keeping a cook -but for her, I could have slept a little longer. All such thoughts vanish by the time I reach the door-I send a silent thanks to God for getting me a cook who can come so early to work.
I give her instructions and busy myself in the mundane chores of getting ready to get out of the house by 7:30. I wake up hubby dear and the little one and go to take bath. 7:20 am - I am out of the bathroom and Hubby has readied the little one. I look forward to the morning cup of chai.. 7:25 and the little one has a 'Eureka' moment. She remembers teacher has told them to cover the assignment file. I know there is no point arguing with her so I immediately rush to find the paper, scissors and cellotape. As I complete covering the file, Hubby is having his morning cuppa and lecturing on being more organized and disciplined to both of us; but I am already on my way out. My cup of tea is cold and I have to leave it halfway.

At the elevator, I realize I need to leave pocket money for the college going son. I ring the bell and the door is opened by an angry looking husband(when was the last time I saw him smiling...). I kick myself for not giving enough time at home. We reach the school bus in the nick of time and I wave to her till the bus turns the corner.

8:10am my day at office starts. I am one of the early comers. I am pleased with the calm in the office after the hurricane at home. I log into my emails- sure enough there are 8-10 new mails even though I have checked my mails late in the night. I check my list of things to do and add more items to it. Recently, the organization has taken over another company and we are integrating the both the teams. Even though integration is still going on, there are tough targets to meet in the remaining quarter. I once again glance through my targets for the quarter. I am determined to overachieve on them-by now I have forgotten my busy morning at home.

As the morning progesses, I am reviewing plans and roadmaps sent by my teams, talking to them on progress, issues, advising them and enthusing them to do better. I realize I need all the energy in the world to make sure they are charged up. I need another cup of tea. In between this,I call my son to check if he has woken up; check whether he ate something and remind him to get out early to reach college in time

Before Lunch time, I get a message from one of my senior managers to call her immediately.  She comes from that part of the organization which has been newly integrated . I sense the urgency in the message and call her. She has a good offer in hand and wants to resign. I ask her if we can do anything to match the offer; but she says the company that has offered her is headquartered out of her city and that is why she sees potential for growth. I tell her that in todays world, location is immaterial and to rethink over the weekend. I guess out of respect, she agrees to rethink over the weekend. My mind is already thinking on impact and backup plans.

Some more calls with global counterparts in the afternoon, some calls with two managers in the team who don't seem to agree on each others approach. I am determined to make them see each others view point and reach a consensus. By the end of the call, I have partially achieved this. I make a mental note of giving at least one of them a strong message on collaboration.
The last call is with the integrated team; to communicate to them about their roles and responsibilities in the new organization structure. I deliberately try to keep the tone calm and breezy. The last call is to tackle some show-stopper issues. At 6:30 in the evening as I finish the last call; I feel drained of energy. I must rush back home to pick daughter from the creche. I see a message from hubby saying he has already picked her up. On my way back, I am taking stock of what I completed and what I did not.

I reach home at 7:30 and am greeted by the little one watching TV and hubby on conference calls. I freshen up, light the diya, call the little one and say the evening prayers. I start cooking for the evening dinner and am determined to give the family a hot and fresh dinner. In between, I realize the elder one has not reached home and give him a call. He is hanging around with friends discussing assignments. I must talk to him in the night and check out more on what is going in his life. 

Hubby dear does not like one of the sabzi's (even without tasting) and is ready to do with an omelette. The little one wants to follow him. The volcano in my mind is ready to burst. But I silently count 1 to 100 and try to remind myself that hubby had single handedly looked after the kids when I was away in Paris for a week.

9:30 at night, I have just finished all my work and want to relax. The little one remembers a homework she needs to do and needs my help. By the time I retire to bed at 11 in the night, I am totally exhausted.

I think of the wise men who attained spiritual enlightenement and nirvana by going away to the forests and meditating in peace. Suddenly, their life seems very attractive :)

On second thoughts, I realize that I need to achieve nirvana amidst my daily life.... 

Homecoming

Last week, I had to travel for office work to Paris for four-five days.

I travel internationally fairly often but given the challenges of managing on the homefront with two growing children and a husband who also travels, I try to limit long distance travel. I was travelling after seven months this time.

When I broke the news to my 8 year old daughter; she was in tears-she simply hated me going away. My elder son 18 years in age took the news more calmly. Over the weekend, I shopped for the provisions to make their life easier, I talked to my daughters friend and her mom to be extra caring towards my little one. I also tried convincing her(though without much success ) that it would be fun messaging each other and talking on phone and connecting on email which we hadn't done for sometime.

Finally, it was time to go. With tears in her eyes, my daughter gave me a snap of hers and asked me to see the snap everytime I remembered her. Both the children came down to see me off at the waiting cab. When the cab started, I was heartbroken to see her sobbing. On my way to the airport, I called her twice and promised to be back soon.

In Paris, between meetings, I regularly messaged my son and husband and called up the little one to reassure her that I would be back soon and life would be normal. One night, she messaged me to say that she had found a dress of mine and she was going to sleep with it that night, so that she would remember me.

Four days flew fast for me with back to back meetings which went on till late in the day. But the little one back home was counting every day. On Friday, as soon as the flight landed at mumbai, I called home to say I had reached and would be back home in an hour or two. When I reached home, sure enough my daughter was awake. Her eyes were smiling and she was relieved that I was back home with her. While the men of the house were happy I was back, the little one really made it special for me.

Half an hour later, she slept peacefully in my arms.

The homecoming reminded me of a time long ago; when I was a young girl of my daughters age. My mother would come home from office at six in the evening. Every day around that time, I would leave my friends and wait expectantly for her at the gate of the complex. Only when I had seen my mother's familiar figure, I would go back to playing with my friends. If she was delayed I would feel restless and tensed. My mother would try to convince me not to worry about her, but every day only after I saw my mother and knew that she had reached home safely was I able to really enjoy playing with my friends.

I realize how lucky I am to have a daughter; it is the women of the house who make homecoming special and memorable.

Knowing there is someone waiting for you so dearly always brings you back faster...